Saturday, December 8, 2012

All You Need Is Love?

"Love is all you Need" Wedding Reception Flowers | Hello Blossoms | Wedding Florist Mornington Peninsula, Victoria
I recently saw something on Pinterest that piqued my interest.  Let me rephrase that.  I see about a hundred things on Pinterest that pique my interest, but this one made me think.  It was a beautiful handmade sign that said "all you need is love".  I almost repinned it (let's be honest....out of habit).  It was pretty and I thought, what a lovely sentiment. 

And then I thought.  What a bunch of crap!  Really?  All I need is Love?  Nope (what about a never ending supply of fountain Coke?).

Don't judge.  I am not a harsh person (okay maybe a little), but I am definitely not a sappy romantic.  I do love a great love story, sappy movie and cry at almost every episode of the biggest loser.  But when it comes to real life, what I really want to say is "SUCK IT UP PEOPLE"!

I wonder if this is why our divorce rate is so high.  Because people have signs that say "All you need is love" in their house.  Clearly that person has not been married (or in a real relationship before) very long.  It is a lovely sentiment, but I think it is just that....sentiment.  When love fades from a relationship it is easy to think "this isn't worth it" and give up.

I am very happily married.  But not every day all the time.  Divorce has never been an option for me, but I must confess that once or twice I wished it were.  LIFE IS HARD.  MARRIAGE IS HARD.  RELATIONSHIPS ARE HARD. 

A few years back, my husband and I went through a really rough patch.  It was hard, and there were days when I thought "is this worth it?".  But guess what.  With prayer and dedication (and some good old fashioned hard work) we got through it.  And. I. Am. So. Glad. We. Did.  It was worth it.  I love living with my best friend.  We laugh together and process life together.  It isn't all about love.  In fact, most days it is about friendship and having someone their to say good night to when you go to bed.  Love simmers into a deep friendship that gets better with time.   And guess what.  I am pretty sure that we are going to go through rough times again, but the good times outweigh the bad.  And that is what people have to keep in mind.  We went to a wedding recently and the pastor gave some REALLY good advise.  One of the most important things you can give each other, in your relationship, is grace.  We are human and we need to give each other some room to make mistakes and to say and do stupid things.  That will go a long way towards a lasting marriage.  Marriage (and life for that matter) is a marathon.  Sometimes it is smooth sailing, but there are times when it is really hard and there is a big hill you have to try to run.

Let's put "all you need is love" to test with children.  Again, let me stress how much I love my children.  However, they don't just need love.  They need boundaries, rules, help with homework and a never ending supply of food and socks (seriously, does anyone else out there go through socks like water?  I feel like I am always throwing away socks with holes in them and then having to buy new ones at the store).  They need someone to tell them that the F word is totally inappropriate at school (or anywhere for that matter).  Just saying. 

But here is the bottom line, and what I want my cute little sign to say.  "All you need is to give and receive grace".  You need to be able to make mistakes and for someone to come alongside you and give you something you don't deserve.  Grace.  If you don't have it in your need to find it.  It's all you need.

1 comment:

  1. Good rant. Just a little addition--I think grace is a subset of love. I think everything you described here is love. Love isn't always pretty, or comfortable or happy. Love is ugly, love is messy, love is battle--in addition to all its pleasant characteristics. At least, that's my current struggle--what I am going through with my relationship with my new church, and my relationship with my old church. I have thought about "All You Need is Love" a lot, too--and I think it's right. But I think the definition for love is the struggle. Grace, forgiveness, patience--all the good stuff of love, I think.

    I enjoy your pictures and look forward to your blogs. Blessings to you and your family!